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fallen

by twelve|ghost

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1.
dragged down again. i know this place too well. i need this to end, I need wounds to heal. repeating the motions. the days, they're all the same. we sat along an ocean and cast our worlds away. found ground again. we just might pull through. our hearts condemned, but still I dream of you. repeating the motions. the days, they're all the same. we sat along an ocean and cast the world away. lost in emotion. the nights, they're all the same. we sat along an ocean, come what never may. come what never may.
2.
we walk along, pretend like nothing's changed. we know we're wrong, life won't be the same. and i know this is hard to take, to think of all the mistakes we'll make. and i know you still think of me. this burning heart, it beats endlessly. if we could see the paths that our hearts are along, could we be wrong? if we could sneak away, just for a moment, could we belong? we play it off, pretend that we're okay. this hurts us still, to be our separate ways. and i know this is hard to take, to be so far from your warm embrace. and i know how you think of me. and how hard it can be to breathe. beneath the fear, you feel it, too: this pull that draws from me to you. well, we can see this path together. but we can't run from this forever. if we could see the paths that our hearts are along, could we be wrong?
3.
another night gone by. another morning with no answers. wondering how i became some kind of monster. walk on towards the path between. the damage done, concealed beneath how many hearts are left to break? what to do besides surrender? how many choices left to make? if just these flames were embers. could we go back, and do it all again?
4.
tear away 06:55
cold nights, have come and gone. they've always been warmest with you around. i'm tearing myself in two. i'm lost and i'm confused. i'm tearing myself in two. to what am i reduced? and i still feel it, too -- the longing. i'll tear myself in two, from heartache. all night i thought of you. your gaze, your voice, your warmth, it felt so new. with street lights just out of view, in moments alone, together, we took root. can't seem to get this right. wishing for answers to come in time. i'm tearing myself in two, but all feels right with you. still, i'm tearing myself in two. so what am i to do? i don't know how i can go on, pretending like we could be wrong how'd this get so hard?
5.
down and out 06:16
i find myself back here again. guessing how long i'll be down this time. it hurts too much to be here, but in the end, one day i just might be fine. so take me away to somewhere new. just take me far from this place. i'll wither away sometime soon, so pull me out just in case. sometimes the stars align, but often not. i still can't help but wonder. no choice but to just breathe again, and hope that wounds don't bleed through from under. i don't know how i caused so much harm. down and out. life feels so dull without you. but somehow i'll continue. i have to stand up now, it seems like all i can do. i'll find my way to mend wounds. i have to. i fell like this before, and picked myself off the floor. i will find love again, i will, i know, i will, again. i won't be afraid to love again. sometimes the stars align, but often not. i won't let this keep me down and keep me out.
6.
careful where you run. this place can be so frightening. before it comes undone, mind the heart that's tightening. can this all be what it seems? i feel over my head. but i can't give up on you, yet. when your heart beats, so close to mine, but you're so far away, i can see it in your eyes. it'll be alright, it'll be just fine, someday. if you take my hand, we'll float away.

about

fallen is an album of catharsis, chronicling the struggles of love, loss, regret, and heartbreak, written to help heal.



thanks:
i'd like use this space to thank a few folks who helped make this album happen, one way or another. i'd like to give an immense thank you to alex ginestra for helping me finish this record, at a time when i wasn't sure if i could. your talents and expertise helped make this album what it is, i couldn't have done this without you. i'd also like to thank dev bhat (shipwreck detective) for collaborating on 'the grey' (despite having to already put up with me in isles) and for all the encouragement along the way. another thanks to ben everett for the constant feedback, enthusiasm, kind words, and for lending me gear to help this album sound great. to every other friend that lent me their ears to test mixes or just put up with me ranting about this album, i thank you, as well.

the time spent writing and producing this album was a difficult one, so i offer the most sincere thank you to everyone for your love and support along the way. there's no way for me to convey how much that support has meant to me, truly.

always,
-i.

credits

released February 14, 2018

all songs written & performed by: ivan torres, except
synths, beats/drums, & additional guitars on 'the grey' written & performed by: dev bhat (shipwreck detective)
all other drums written & produced by: ivan torres & alex ginestra
orchestral strings written & produced by: alex ginestra
recorded at ghost house studios in oakland, ca
mixed & produced by: alex ginestra & ivan torres
mastered by: brad kobylczak at condemned recording

© 2018 ghost|house records

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twelve|ghost Oakland, California

solo side project of ivan torres (ISLES). twelve|ghost is a project of catharsis, chronicling moments of love, loss, and heartbreak, written to help heal.

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